#113: TODAY, WRITE ON THE DUST OF EVERY DIRTY CAR YOU PASS.
Personally, we would write “I wish my girlfriend was as dirty as this car”, but to each his own.
October 2009
29 posts
Personally, we would write “I wish my girlfriend was as dirty as this car”, but to each his own.
#112: TODAY, DO FOXY A FAVOR.
I sincerely hope Koxy doesn’t have the time to read this, but it’s her birthday and I’d like everyone to wish her the following message:
HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY TITFACE! LOVE, FOXY
Here’s how you can do it:
a) by E-mail:
In the subject line, type “MOXY #112”. Type the above text in the content part of the email, in a huge font and in blue. It must be in blue. Type nothing else if you have nothing intelligent to say, but attach 5 pictures of any of the following items:
1. Ursula from The Little Mermaid
2. A real octopus/ Takoyaki balls
3. Starbucks
4. A person doing pilates/ yoga/ someone in a very awkward position, hinting at sex
5. Soft pornography
6. If you know her personally and possss a very unflattering picture of her, attach this immediately.
7. Balloons
8. Food, especially from local restaurant Hatched
9. Clothes that are grey or blue
10. Anything beautiful
Google Images, Weheartit, Tumblr, Flickr, Ffffound! are good sources.
Send the email to: kerriteo [at] gmail.com
b) through very public means:
Consider writing a made-up post on MLIA about her. Include her full name and wish her a happy birthday. Involve Ursula somehow.
Alternatively, write to Postsecret. Make sure you use a postcard of a scenic location; beaches and airports seem to be most popular. Use a black, felt-tipped marker and write something profound and short. Make sure it’s worthy of being a very dark and repressed secret. Something along the lines of “Kerri, I’m your biological mother but I can never tell you. They didn’t let me. Happy birthday. Love, mom” would be good. Try to bold and underline the “they” if possible.
c) in person
Wander around the Orchard Road private apartments in full costume get up holding a large sunflower on Saturday night. You don’t find us; we find you.
Seriously guys, how could you not? That itsy bitsy red bikini, that straw hat and Murakami, what you gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside your trunk? You wish her a fucking happy 19th, of course.
#111: TODAY, FOLLOWING THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD MIGHT NOT BE THE BEST OPTION.
#110: TODAY, WRITE ON THE TOILET ROLLS OF EVERY PUBLIC TOILET YOU ENTER.
An example:
#109: TODAY, FAIL BETTER.
#108: TODAY, THINK OF ONE MEMORY FROM EVERY YEAR OF YOUR LIFE.
You can do this today, or on any significant date. Think about something that happened today (10/26/2009). Then think about something that happened in 2008. And another from 2007. Keep thinking backwards until you can’t remember anything.
If you were a child or a robot then I guess this would be easy, but not so for most of us.
#107: TODAY, IF YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT SOMEONE...
TAKE
THE
HIT.
Even if it breaks your heart.
#106: TODAY, RE-EVALUATE YOUR GOALS.
#105: TODAY, PAY YOUR KNEES SOME ATTENTION.
Apart from their backs, they’re probably one of the body parts showered with the least attention.
But if you’re the bee’s knees, then never mind.
#104: TODAY, ASK YOUR POP HOW BABIES ARE MADE.
Bambi eyes, a straight face, innocence personified.
#103: TODAY, MAYBE IT'S TIME TO FIND YOUR WAY HOME.
The non-brick-and-mortar one, that is.
#102: TODAY, WEAR MATCHING OUTFITS WITH YOUR POP.
NO MATTER HOW OLD YOU ARE.
jarvis Crocker and son. Altogether now- A’www.
#101: TODAY, USE SIGN LANGUAGE.
#100: TODAY, TELL PEOPLE ABOUT MOXY.
Nah…. Today, “accidentally” type into MSN/Skype windows of everyone available online (or text random friends) any one of the following phrases:
“But no one got pregnant.”
“And just knowing it was my sister made it SO MUCH HOTTER!”
and then, “Oops, wrong conversation.”
Thank you MLIA for reminding us how simple it is to make our days not-so-average. Of course, telling people about MOXY will do as well.
#99: TODAY, SPEND SOME TIME STARING AT THE SKY.
You really know what you might find. Send in a picture.
#98: TODAY, DRESS AS YOUR FAVORITE TENENBAUM.
Band Grace Potter & the Nocturnals as The Tenenbaums:
#97: TODAY, SEND US YOUR BEST 'HOME ALONE' FACE.
#96: TODAY, CREATE A SELF-PORTRAIT AS SEEN IN A SPOON.
#95: TODAY, START A BOOK DETAILING 1,000 AWESOME THINGS.
Think about things that make your heart sing. (Or stop, for that matter.) Every page for one awesome thing, with numbers and illustrations or photos, a la Neil’s 1,000 Awesome Things, whose compilation is an Awesome Thing in itself.
#94: TODAY, DRAW OUT THE FLOORPLAN OF YOUR DREAM HOUSE.
To include in your documentation:
1) Legend
2) The name of each room.
Dimensions optional.
Joy’s Dream House:
Level 1 includes a homemade garden (whatever that is), a sleazy-sounding “Couple Corner” and a lot of swings, and an al fresco live music area and theater making it pretty damn awesome.
Level 2: Personal Space. Dark room (ooh la la. Kidding- it’s strictly for film development only, but who says you can’t think of new ways to have fun?) But wait- there’s a so-called Fun Room as well. Hmmm.
Level 3 is basically a rooftop party palace! Interestingly, there is a table for 2 between the dance floor and the party area. Even more interestingly (ha), the most significant part about this level- the button that erases everything at one push.
Foxy’s:
Second floor overlooks first floor, high-ceiling glass windows, giant disco balls, floor tiles that light up when you walk, bicycles are the main form of transport in this house (NO WALKING ALLOWED!), every bed is a pillow fort, and best of all, a secret underground lair for Batman.
From Diana:
Click here for a bigger view.
